Well time has been hurtling along at a rate of knots; and this Sassenach has barely come up for air in the last 9 weeks… so so so many details to think about, consider, plan and prepare for; I’ve felt like I was on an ocean -there has been so many ups and downs!
Sometimes still and oddly, strangely, eerily calm; then the sails would suddenly flare, storm winds would appear as if from no-where and the next wave would rise up and threaten to topple this oft-times fragile little boat of mine.
More than once I’ve fallen in, swimming in the ocean of overwhelm, wondering if, or when it would just rise up and consume me; drowning in thoughts in what seemed like an sea of chaos. Often only treading water, just about managing to keep my head above it and hoping that the next wave just… doesn’t …. come…
And yet I knew that it would, and has, and even in those apparent periods of suspicious calm, the storm could be just a breath or a heartbeat away again.
So the tumultuous journey has been..
I’m waiting now for the time when there is space larger than a breath, where the ease returns and I can sail a little slower, swim with the current, set the sails with the wind and just cruise…
My first such exhale was last week, after which I had spent days feeling into and writing the ceremony… when this was finally done, I felt a great sense of peace enveloping me, like a big exhale; that key piece was finally in place!
Now, I set my sails towards sewing my own costumes, and so there is creative, more relaxing, fun play on the horizon!! Land ahoy at last!!
I do still plan on walking to the beach every day though, and reconnecting to that sense of peace and tranquillity again.. so lets just hope the ocean remains calm!?
Your sometimes sea-sick sassynach,